Paige and Gretchen: First 2,000!

So I’m not great at updating these things, and Paige is scared of the internet, so I’m writing this as the “The First 2,000” miles of road trip (which is somewhat rounded and yeah, I know I skipped 1,000 miles just roll with me dangit. Hah. Roll with me. Puns.) And even though we’re nearing 3,000 around now. But that’s okay, I’ll just write another one around 4,000 miles and so on and so forth.

Finally, I was able to use “and so forth.” I feel much better now.

Anyway, The First 2,000 featured a lot of I-64 across Virginia, which was not great, because Virginians don’t know how to act in traffic. I traveled to North Carolina for a family reunion in the Outer Banks. Lots of beach, sun, family, family, family, more family, a decent amount of alcohol, a high ropes course (sans alcohol) and a little bit more family.

Quite frankly the Wolkings are adorable though, so it’s all okay. Here’s a picture of babysister Claire and I on the beach. And also us at the high ropes course.


Then I went to Wise, VA (with a detour at a music festival beer tasting event near Williamsburg, VA. The whole afternoon was a bit weirder than I originally foresaw – I ended up having to stay for an extra hour to sober up, and I still gave half of my drink tickets to the band.)


I went to visit my buddy Grant, and he’s a total isolated mountain man now. We drove to Lexington for the night (not part of my 2,000) to meet some of his friends from UK (including a basketball player… don’t ask me his name, I already forgot.)

At 3,200 Feet


After a bit of wisdom (new blog slogan: Come for the Content, Stay for the Puns) I went to Baltimore to pick up Paige (I have no comment on Baltimore; we did not stay long. I think I’m over-using the parenthetical opinions.)

We took a beautiful little highway through Washington, D.C. to more family in McLean, VA (Virginia is huge. Like a huge, huge state. That’s not opinion that’s a fact.)


A few days in D.C. resulted in lots of tourist walking, Mr. Smith (Georgetown bar with a beautiful beer garden) and the bar’s delicious chicken fajitas, alcohol, family, and my first open mic event (Ireland Four Courts Irish pub.) I sang two songs and no one booed. Everything was pretty okay. ImageImageImage

There’s probably a ton of pictures that I’ll edit in here. I totally trust myself do this.


Anyway, Paige and I did much, much more than this, and I’m going to write about that SOON (in case you don’t return: we did Philly in 30 min, New Jersey drivers aren’t great, Zach Braff is adorable in Bullets over Broadway, camping or something, Ohio is Ohio.) Here’s to the next 1,000! And so on and so forth (TWICE IN ONE POST WUHHOO.)

But this is all you get for now because I think I get pizza soon. I know that isn’t fair, but you knew what to expect. Don’t blame me for your ignorance. Or mine. Right? Right. Paige and Gretchen will continue! Hooray!


Paige and Gretchen Doing Real Stuff


(That other person is Andrea and she is cool.)


So the last three weeks have been job applications, interviews, rushed packing, and less fun than expected.

Good thing that’s over.

Now I leave today for North Carolina, and Paige leaves in the next few weeks for SomewhereWhereGretchenIsLand.

And we’ve got pals in Virginia (non-preceded and West), Jersey, Ohio, and more that we get to visit within the next few weeks! (Please note: if you live in one of those states and have yet to be informed about our arrival, this is it. This is the information. Consider yourself informed from here on.)

Right now we live in a terrible world of allergy-ridden homes, flat pop (the drink, not the music), and quite frankly deary weather, but all that’s about to change.

Other updates, hm… well.

Here’s the new t-shirt design.


I made about ten of them, and I think I’m going to use free slave labor at my family reunion this week to make more.

Anyway, back to trip details. We’re going to use every trick in the book to save money this summer, starting from the very beginning: camping and couchsurfing. However, here are some fun tips that I’ve picked up in the last few days (while packing for the next 6-7 weeks).

  1. Roll your clothes. It’s fun, and it makes your bag look like it belongs to a sociopath (which it does).
  2. Pack Advil, because you’ll get sick while you’re packing and you’rE WHOLE WEEK WILL BE RUINED.
  3. Let random trips happen, like ones to Indianapolis and Chicago, because sure, why not, time doesn’t matter.
  4. Steal hotel shampoos and conditioners, even if you aren’t staying there.
  5. Never read John Green’s “The Fault in Our Stars” unless you want to cry forever.

That’s it for now. We’re coming to your neighborhoods.