Paige and Gretchen: At 4,000!

This one is a bit more accurate with mileage – I looked at the odometer on my car and the sticker from the oil change I got a couple days before the trip began and realized I’m about 1,000 miles overdue for an oil change AGAIN.

That’s ridiculous.

The mechanics industry has us on our knees, paying out the wazzoo for these “oil changes” every so often, and for what? Why does my oil need to be changed? What does that do for a car, huh? Why don’t you explain THAT to me, Dan my mechanic brother who could totally explain that to me wait never mind I don’t really care No seriously I get it IT’S TOTALLY A THING I GOT IT I’LL GET THE OIL CHANGED JEEZ ALL RIGHT STOP LECTURING ME.

Anyway.

After D.C., Paige and I traveled through Pennsylvania and stopped in Philadelphia (wow that’s spelled weird. Also, Paige would want me to add “Boy Meets World! Brotherly Love!” to which I say “okay.”)

It was raining, and parking was oddly expensive and glaring sparse, so we found a place and ran to the Liberty Bell (AND DIDN’T TOUCH IT OR LICK IT) and ran back to the car in 30 minutes. So. Yep, that’s Philly to us. We didn’t even get cheesesteaks.

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In Jersey we drove around for a couple hours, stopped in a Starbucks (where I watched 4-5 episodes of Orange Is The New Black instead of writing a blog post) and eventually found our friend Louidy (and some nice old coupon people) at Le Peep.

Then we went to NYC.

It was Paige’s first time in New York, so there will be a decent amount of pictures somewhere here (or more on Facebook.) We rode the train in from Jersey and DIDN’T miss the train back that night, don’t worry about it. There was drinking and sightseeing and people watching and paid people watching (a Broadway show) and a giant toy store and 30 Rock and honestly, it was just New York. You just had to be there.

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I will say this though: Woody Allen’s “Bullets Over Broadway” was a bit of a mixed bag.

Pros: Zach Braff, some really classically good (pseudo-intellectual) Woody Allen bits that are made hilarious because all the other characters are like “No one talks like that, *insert Woody Allen’s character’s name here*”, Zach Braff, great male dancing choreography, Zach Braff, jokes, 20’s music.

Cons: Some really classically pseudo-intellectual Woody Allen bits, one-dimensional plot, and the ending. There wasn’t an ending. The one plot came to an end, and it was actually very well done and great and stuff, and then all the sudden Woody Allen was like “LET’S RESOLVE EVERYTHING INSTEAD OF MAKING PEOPLE LEAVE THE THEATER IN A PENSIVE STATE. LET’S SING ABOUT NOT HAVING BANANAS.” and literally the entire audience was like “I thought that girl left him? I thought he would be sad? I don’t understand why we’re singing about not having bananas?”

But Zach Braff doe. Mmm. Even as Woody Allen, he’s still wonderful.

And that was New York City.

On our way to Ohio we went through Pennsylvania again (I need to look at a map because that doesn’t make a lick of sense. I said “lick” in this blog post twice. #themoreyouknow.) We camped at an RV park named Fort Boone, and everyone was very nice. Some guy (who actually went to Dexter elementary school in Evansville, which is right next to CTK where I went? Because the universe is hilarious?) helped us with the firewood, and then some other guy saved us after we used half a box of Duraflame fire place matches to start a fire for 3ish hours.

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It really was relaxing. Eventually.

Moving right through to Ohio, we saw our friends Courtney and Co. (those wonderfully blessed Ohioans that make the state great) and went to Cedar Point for a day, where it rained and Paige was brave.

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From there, we went clear across the magnificent state of Indiana to the not-as-magnificent-but-still-wonderful state of Illinois and later into the I’ve-only-seen-one-city-but-it-seems-okay state of Wisconsin for one of the best concert-going experiences of my life.

Before that we saw our friend Vickie who has a real job now and is totally real.

10406876_10154307763785599_4038760660672312367_n Okay. So if you haven’t heard of Bleachers music yet, then I don’t really understand how your earholes work. Bleachers is the solo project for fun. member Jack Antonoff (previously of Steeltrain and teenage hipster girls’ dreams.) He played at Summerfest in Milwaukee on June 27, and he was amazing.

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The photo quality does not provide enough credence for our proximity, but we were literally RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM. LIKE RIGHT THERE. LIKE AT ONE POINT HE CAME UP TO THE BARRIER AND PAIGE TOUCHED HIM.

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We also saw this band called Hot Jam Factory that kinda sounds like Arcade Fire, and I talked to them after and I really liked them.

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Also their drummer looks like a young Robert Downey Jr.

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But the main point is Bleachers. Bleachers Bleachers Bleachers. Go listen to Jack now.

What else… well, the next day (after wayyy too much drinking at Summerfest) Paige and I went to a Cubs game with Paige’s (pretty awesome totally lame) older sister and way-cooler-than-her friends and drank a lot more. So that was fun.

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I’m going to stop here for now, not because the mileage indicates a break, but because that’s so much information to take in. Like we did all these things starting June 22 and ending June 30.

And that, my friends, is a roadtrip.

What’s next, you say? Already done: Peoria and the wonderful Christmas and Chris Walls, Evansville, another open mic night, a bit of Lake Barkley, the Fourth, and laziness. Where-to next: back to the lake, more laziness, more drinking, more writing, more singing, Nashville, Murray, Louisville and a whole lotta Midwestern/southern states.

Paige and Gretchen are exploring.