Paige and Gretchen: At 4,000!

This one is a bit more accurate with mileage – I looked at the odometer on my car and the sticker from the oil change I got a couple days before the trip began and realized I’m about 1,000 miles overdue for an oil change AGAIN.

That’s ridiculous.

The mechanics industry has us on our knees, paying out the wazzoo for these “oil changes” every so often, and for what? Why does my oil need to be changed? What does that do for a car, huh? Why don’t you explain THAT to me, Dan my mechanic brother who could totally explain that to me wait never mind I don’t really care No seriously I get it IT’S TOTALLY A THING I GOT IT I’LL GET THE OIL CHANGED JEEZ ALL RIGHT STOP LECTURING ME.


After D.C., Paige and I traveled through Pennsylvania and stopped in Philadelphia (wow that’s spelled weird. Also, Paige would want me to add “Boy Meets World! Brotherly Love!” to which I say “okay.”)

It was raining, and parking was oddly expensive and glaring sparse, so we found a place and ran to the Liberty Bell (AND DIDN’T TOUCH IT OR LICK IT) and ran back to the car in 30 minutes. So. Yep, that’s Philly to us. We didn’t even get cheesesteaks.


In Jersey we drove around for a couple hours, stopped in a Starbucks (where I watched 4-5 episodes of Orange Is The New Black instead of writing a blog post) and eventually found our friend Louidy (and some nice old coupon people) at Le Peep.

Then we went to NYC.

It was Paige’s first time in New York, so there will be a decent amount of pictures somewhere here (or more on Facebook.) We rode the train in from Jersey and DIDN’T miss the train back that night, don’t worry about it. There was drinking and sightseeing and people watching and paid people watching (a Broadway show) and a giant toy store and 30 Rock and honestly, it was just New York. You just had to be there.

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I will say this though: Woody Allen’s “Bullets Over Broadway” was a bit of a mixed bag.

Pros: Zach Braff, some really classically good (pseudo-intellectual) Woody Allen bits that are made hilarious because all the other characters are like “No one talks like that, *insert Woody Allen’s character’s name here*”, Zach Braff, great male dancing choreography, Zach Braff, jokes, 20’s music.

Cons: Some really classically pseudo-intellectual Woody Allen bits, one-dimensional plot, and the ending. There wasn’t an ending. The one plot came to an end, and it was actually very well done and great and stuff, and then all the sudden Woody Allen was like “LET’S RESOLVE EVERYTHING INSTEAD OF MAKING PEOPLE LEAVE THE THEATER IN A PENSIVE STATE. LET’S SING ABOUT NOT HAVING BANANAS.” and literally the entire audience was like “I thought that girl left him? I thought he would be sad? I don’t understand why we’re singing about not having bananas?”

But Zach Braff doe. Mmm. Even as Woody Allen, he’s still wonderful.

And that was New York City.

On our way to Ohio we went through Pennsylvania again (I need to look at a map because that doesn’t make a lick of sense. I said “lick” in this blog post twice. #themoreyouknow.) We camped at an RV park named Fort Boone, and everyone was very nice. Some guy (who actually went to Dexter elementary school in Evansville, which is right next to CTK where I went? Because the universe is hilarious?) helped us with the firewood, and then some other guy saved us after we used half a box of Duraflame fire place matches to start a fire for 3ish hours.


It really was relaxing. Eventually.

Moving right through to Ohio, we saw our friends Courtney and Co. (those wonderfully blessed Ohioans that make the state great) and went to Cedar Point for a day, where it rained and Paige was brave.


From there, we went clear across the magnificent state of Indiana to the not-as-magnificent-but-still-wonderful state of Illinois and later into the I’ve-only-seen-one-city-but-it-seems-okay state of Wisconsin for one of the best concert-going experiences of my life.

Before that we saw our friend Vickie who has a real job now and is totally real.

10406876_10154307763785599_4038760660672312367_n Okay. So if you haven’t heard of Bleachers music yet, then I don’t really understand how your earholes work. Bleachers is the solo project for fun. member Jack Antonoff (previously of Steeltrain and teenage hipster girls’ dreams.) He played at Summerfest in Milwaukee on June 27, and he was amazing.

The photo quality does not provide enough credence for our proximity, but we were literally RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM. LIKE RIGHT THERE. LIKE AT ONE POINT HE CAME UP TO THE BARRIER AND PAIGE TOUCHED HIM.

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We also saw this band called Hot Jam Factory that kinda sounds like Arcade Fire, and I talked to them after and I really liked them.


Also their drummer looks like a young Robert Downey Jr.


But the main point is Bleachers. Bleachers Bleachers Bleachers. Go listen to Jack now.

What else… well, the next day (after wayyy too much drinking at Summerfest) Paige and I went to a Cubs game with Paige’s (pretty awesome totally lame) older sister and way-cooler-than-her friends and drank a lot more. So that was fun.



I’m going to stop here for now, not because the mileage indicates a break, but because that’s so much information to take in. Like we did all these things starting June 22 and ending June 30.

And that, my friends, is a roadtrip.

What’s next, you say? Already done: Peoria and the wonderful Christmas and Chris Walls, Evansville, another open mic night, a bit of Lake Barkley, the Fourth, and laziness. Where-to next: back to the lake, more laziness, more drinking, more writing, more singing, Nashville, Murray, Louisville and a whole lotta Midwestern/southern states.

Paige and Gretchen are exploring.





Paige and Gretchen: First 2,000!

So I’m not great at updating these things, and Paige is scared of the internet, so I’m writing this as the “The First 2,000” miles of road trip (which is somewhat rounded and yeah, I know I skipped 1,000 miles just roll with me dangit. Hah. Roll with me. Puns.) And even though we’re nearing 3,000 around now. But that’s okay, I’ll just write another one around 4,000 miles and so on and so forth.

Finally, I was able to use “and so forth.” I feel much better now.

Anyway, The First 2,000 featured a lot of I-64 across Virginia, which was not great, because Virginians don’t know how to act in traffic. I traveled to North Carolina for a family reunion in the Outer Banks. Lots of beach, sun, family, family, family, more family, a decent amount of alcohol, a high ropes course (sans alcohol) and a little bit more family.

Quite frankly the Wolkings are adorable though, so it’s all okay. Here’s a picture of babysister Claire and I on the beach. And also us at the high ropes course.


Then I went to Wise, VA (with a detour at a music festival beer tasting event near Williamsburg, VA. The whole afternoon was a bit weirder than I originally foresaw – I ended up having to stay for an extra hour to sober up, and I still gave half of my drink tickets to the band.)


I went to visit my buddy Grant, and he’s a total isolated mountain man now. We drove to Lexington for the night (not part of my 2,000) to meet some of his friends from UK (including a basketball player… don’t ask me his name, I already forgot.)

At 3,200 Feet


After a bit of wisdom (new blog slogan: Come for the Content, Stay for the Puns) I went to Baltimore to pick up Paige (I have no comment on Baltimore; we did not stay long. I think I’m over-using the parenthetical opinions.)

We took a beautiful little highway through Washington, D.C. to more family in McLean, VA (Virginia is huge. Like a huge, huge state. That’s not opinion that’s a fact.)


A few days in D.C. resulted in lots of tourist walking, Mr. Smith (Georgetown bar with a beautiful beer garden) and the bar’s delicious chicken fajitas, alcohol, family, and my first open mic event (Ireland Four Courts Irish pub.) I sang two songs and no one booed. Everything was pretty okay. ImageImageImage

There’s probably a ton of pictures that I’ll edit in here. I totally trust myself do this.


Anyway, Paige and I did much, much more than this, and I’m going to write about that SOON (in case you don’t return: we did Philly in 30 min, New Jersey drivers aren’t great, Zach Braff is adorable in Bullets over Broadway, camping or something, Ohio is Ohio.) Here’s to the next 1,000! And so on and so forth (TWICE IN ONE POST WUHHOO.)

But this is all you get for now because I think I get pizza soon. I know that isn’t fair, but you knew what to expect. Don’t blame me for your ignorance. Or mine. Right? Right. Paige and Gretchen will continue! Hooray!

Paige and Gretchen Doing Real Stuff


(That other person is Andrea and she is cool.)


So the last three weeks have been job applications, interviews, rushed packing, and less fun than expected.

Good thing that’s over.

Now I leave today for North Carolina, and Paige leaves in the next few weeks for SomewhereWhereGretchenIsLand.

And we’ve got pals in Virginia (non-preceded and West), Jersey, Ohio, and more that we get to visit within the next few weeks! (Please note: if you live in one of those states and have yet to be informed about our arrival, this is it. This is the information. Consider yourself informed from here on.)

Right now we live in a terrible world of allergy-ridden homes, flat pop (the drink, not the music), and quite frankly deary weather, but all that’s about to change.

Other updates, hm… well.

Here’s the new t-shirt design.


I made about ten of them, and I think I’m going to use free slave labor at my family reunion this week to make more.

Anyway, back to trip details. We’re going to use every trick in the book to save money this summer, starting from the very beginning: camping and couchsurfing. However, here are some fun tips that I’ve picked up in the last few days (while packing for the next 6-7 weeks).

  1. Roll your clothes. It’s fun, and it makes your bag look like it belongs to a sociopath (which it does).
  2. Pack Advil, because you’ll get sick while you’re packing and you’rE WHOLE WEEK WILL BE RUINED.
  3. Let random trips happen, like ones to Indianapolis and Chicago, because sure, why not, time doesn’t matter.
  4. Steal hotel shampoos and conditioners, even if you aren’t staying there.
  5. Never read John Green’s “The Fault in Our Stars” unless you want to cry forever.

That’s it for now. We’re coming to your neighborhoods.

Paige and Gretchen in the Old Days

Paige and Gretchen Almost Ready


Well, Paige and I finally graduated from Bradley.

So that’s, ya know, wonderful.

Armed with our bachelor’s degrees and a couple of guitars, we’re setting out in the next few weeks to go do whatever we want in wherever we want (excludes overseas, see packaging for details).

There will be details here, on this blog, and hopefully here, on a youtube channel (where we want to vlog and stuff). Facebook and Twitter (nohardfeelings_) should have some details too.

So wish us luck – we won’t need it, hopefully, but it’s always good to have a little luck lying around.

Want us to come see you? We were probably going to anyway. Regardless, here’s an easy way to contact us!